Inane ramblings of a disused mineshaft

The boy was still standing on the burning deck
These things just come to pass
But the flames were like a long lost friend
As they licked towards his a...what the hell's going on here?

And there's more...

TBSOTBD
He was facing to the front
Surely he should have jumped by now
The stupid little c...now that's enough!!

And so to bed

His feet were covered in blisters
He had no knickers to put on
So he put on his sister's

Oooh yes, the joys of poetry. And if you are with a gang of mates just keep making up boy/burning deck poems and you are bound to raise a laugh.

eg

TBSOTBD
he was feeling rather silly
The flames grew higher and higher
And burnt the end of his well developed sense of humour...
See I didn't go for the obvious "rude" ending.
Here, fill the last line of this one in yourself

TBSOTBD
he couldn't believe his luck
he realised he'd soon have to move,
As it was getting hot as f

Eh?

You know when you are walking down the street with your ipod earphones in, and you let off a fart...How do you know how loud it was?

The reason I ask was that this very day in Oxford St, I thought I had let go a "puffy" one, but it obviously came out as a "rasper" and people looked at me in a most peculiar way!

And it stunk!

Don't fart in a lift...or if you do make it a silent one and keep looking at the fit young bird in a knowing yet accusatory manner.

If you are in a lift on your own and know that there will be no one getting on when you get off - let one rip as you do so, so the next person in will get an unpleasant surprise.

I once got in a lift in one of the tower blocks at Essex Uni and there was a turd in the corner. Disgusting! But not only that, it was tucked up right into the corner so it must have been someone with a triangular arse who put it there as no other shape of arse would fit.

Scatology